I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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