I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize