she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
