im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
