So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
