I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
