How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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