Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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