There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize