just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
