just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
