in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize