we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
