i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
me + whiskey = a bad person
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize