ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize