I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
