i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
