There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
