I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
and she was petting her beer can
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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