I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
