i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize