And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
