I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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