are you still at the devil's house?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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