So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Randomize
