Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
