Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
you never un-have a 4some
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
