u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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