Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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