a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
