He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
