I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
