Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Randomize