so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize