i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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