sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
