Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
