When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
