i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
