YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
my liver is dry heaving
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
