Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
