Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
