Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
