These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
