Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
