you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
