Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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