If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
