Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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