i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
He better not be in your backpack
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
