I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
