i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
