just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I will be naked everywhere
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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