He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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