You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
