I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
