Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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