STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize