areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
