Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
