everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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