is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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