Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
