I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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