You made eat vitamins until I threw up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
i think i just lost a toe
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
