Apparently you make a good broom.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I think my moral compass just broke
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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